These are the times when one gapes at the heights of ignorance. One wonders how a person can possibly be so not aware of the causes of the simplest of things happening around her. The ‘her’ in question being the ignoramus in the sketch above. Or could it be that she is just playing clueless? .. or is it plain modesty? .. I know not

The dodo keeps asking me “You are ‘beautiful’…how can anyone stay so ‘beautiful’?” … and me being not so modest a bloke, keeps accepting every compliment thatz coming my way. Though it was with a pinch o salt at first, eventually I took the above compliment too, to my credit, not taking into account the ‘sissy-ness’ of the word. Then it came as a sudden realization-like that 1000 watt bulb that just pops up inside the dark alleys of your mind throwing light at all those minor details you have been missing out on.
I decided to pack my backpack with all the supplies I would need for ma lil expedition, travel through one and all of those neglected alleys, and get to the bottom of the mystery – The root cause of my..ahem!..’beauty’. Every road I explored took me to the same thing. I realized all of a sudden that despite all the thousands of hours of my life that the mean clock has ruthlessly ticked away there were actually 17,520 hours which the meanie could do nothing about… I haven’t missed out on even a single second that passed during the last two years of my life. Topped with a 20 tonne inborn reluctance, I admit that the credit for this does not go to me.

When you keep something that is beautiful beyond description so close to your heart, atleast some of the beauty is bound to rub off on you. Sometimes the ‘beautiful being’ can be dumb enough not to realize that the beauty reflecting off the one so close to her is her own. ..Or, as I said earlier, she could be being blatantly modest. Either way, I gotta tell you guys that ever since she contaminated my life with her presence, every moment ……….has been worth living…every moment seemed to make me grow younger. My dreams seem to be growing every day… and I believe life is all about dreaming… and since my dreams are never gonna cease to exist, they make me immortal. Looks like I’ve found ma fountain of youth, and I got no intention of letting anyone else drink from it. But however, u can always get one of your own… Good luck ;) ..and happy second anniversary to us !!

Amen to that!!

One more 'today'

One more 'today'
The first ray of morning light touches his forehead through the curtain drapes. He still hasnt slept. He has been lying awake all night watching her sleep in his arms, her bare-skin touching his, underneath the blankets, and her delicate scent filling up the room. She is still fast asleep. Oh!..she looks so sweet and innocent when she sleeps. He buries his nose deep in her curls and inhales, filling his lungs with the smell thats the sweetest to him. every breath she takes is soft music to his ears. He then plants a peck on her forehead and the trace of that familiar lovely smile spreads across her soft lips. He wonders whats going on in her sub-conscious mind. She flings an arm around him, hugging him tight in deep sleep, pressing her bosom on to his chest. He feels their hearts beating ......next to each other.......for each other.
This feeling he gets everytime she is around is quite indescribable. The wholeness he feels when this feeling fills his soul is unparallelled. Its a feeling so immense, so sincere....and he feels it flowing through both of them. He knows that she too feels the same way about him. If he were to write a book, It would be about her...If he were to sing a song, it would describe her... if he were to make a portrait, it would surely be hers.....If God has sent him only one guardian angel in his life, 'she' most definitely is her. Although he is not perfect, he is the happiest because he has her. It is wonderful to have a heart beating for you. That is the kind of love that makes a man feel complete.
Something glistens on her finger casting an eerie glow on her face. She looks prettier than ever in the faint yellow light that reflects from the little golden ring that he gave her the previous night – the first official symbol of his love for her. And he whispers into her ears, partly to himself "My Aphrodite...you really are my goddess of love".....to which she responds with a semi-conscious "mmmhh...", her half open sleepy eyes fixed onto his....and she gives him a content smile. But before he is done savouring it, she is asleep again.He whispers into her ears again
"To my dear, sweet ' wife', this i must say....I'm falling in love with you more each day"
Everything seems so perfect...so flawless. And then reality strikes its death-blow. He realizes that very soon he wont be waking up next to her, feeling her skin on his, her warm breath on his neck. It took them six long months to be able to spend time together. But they did, against all odds. Those four days were the best he remembers. But very soon he wont be able to plant wake-up kisses on those lips. Very soon she is going to be just a phone number, a voice on the other end of the line, and a name on the chat-window on the computer screen .....and she is gonna stay that way for quite a long time. He knows not how long. Love drifts so swiftly by, without giving a chance to grasp its tranquility. He glooms among all of its torturous sadness, trying to cope with all the lonely days forthcoming...trying not to think of how alone he would feel. He realizes that there are many wars to be waged before they can be together again. He fears they might rip his heart apart and replace it with stone. He hopes that he survives. He fears time and distance might change the person she is and the way she feels about him. He winces in pain as his mind keeps on torturing him. He tries to shake the thoughts off his head.
He looks down at her face again. She is awake now, regarding him with love-filled eyes. Their lips lock in a deep, passionate morning kiss. She looks deep into his eyes and tells him
"When I'm with you, I feel so beautiful, so simple...so uncomplicated...so loved..so........"
".............complete?"
"yeah..complete"
Suddenly he feels strong...stronger than ever. He realizes how stupid it was of him to feel insecure. He realizes he is gonna survive...no matter how long it takes..no matter what hardships he has to face...love is gonna keep him alive for her. he realizes that this bond between them is way too strong to be broken by space and time. He can see all the beautiful days waiting for them once they are back together again. He can see his unborn children – his extensions to her, as he always puts it, giving him more of her to love – playing around....right there in her eyes. Everything seems so clear..including the only prayer he is gonna say every night with her in his arms, just the way he has her now
" O merciful Lord,... Give us one more day..one more 'today' "
(22nd Aug 2006)

What do we call these?..heart-songs?

Life makes poets out of people at the oddest times. This one once came quite unexpectedly, straight from the bottom of my heart :)

As my journey continues,
Through these roads so abstruse
I find me asking myself always
Where life is taking me at such a pace

If fate breaks me, i wouldnt mind
If time leads me nowhere I'd still be kind
'Coz somewhere during my addled quest,
Our paths met, Life showed me its best !

The man in the mirror

He has always been there for me whenever I needed him. As years pass by, his face would get wrinkled, his memories would start fading away, his body would grow frail... the only thing which would stay young for the longest would most probably be his heart.. And one day that too would cease to beat. But by then I would have become totally independent....I would have set myself free from all earthly bonds. In this world there is only one certainty – death. But does everything end with that?.. True that our memories and every single thing that we have learnt in this world will die with our brain, coz that is where it's all stored. But what about the core emotions like love, that have no logical connection to the brain. Science puts them as chemical reactions.. I, for some unknown reason refuse to believe so.

All this talk about death reminds me of this poem by John Donne...

-

Death be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,

For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,

Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee does go,

Rest of their bones, and souls deliverie.

Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,

And better then thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

-

Are we indeed gonna wake up eternally?.. That is one thing I'm in no hurry to find out :)

EXPLORER OF THE UNKNOWN REALMS – The prelude

Today, I have been pondering on why I wanted to start this blog. Is self discovery my only motive? Or does my mind secretly want interested people to know me on a different level? If I do, then why am I hesitant to keep a link to this blog elsewhere? Even if self discovery does not prove to be my primary motive, all these questions suggest that I should indeed know myself on a deeper level.

This reminds me of a comparison I chanced to come across in a friend’s blog long back. She had compared people to onions, having different layers. As other people get to know us, they start moving towards our core, layer by layer. Some find their way past quite a few layers, some hardly manage to penetrate a few, and we of lil’ knowledge often live with the assumption that we are at the core of our ‘onion’. And then one fine day, if we are fortunate enough, life proves us wrong, making us strong supporters of “Assumption is the mother of all screw ups”. We realize that there is a lot we don’t know about ourselves. Once this happens, some of us try figuring out ways to get to know ourselves better. Some others decide that ignorance is a bliss and that we should go no further and burden ourselves with knowledge which is not gonna make us any less of a mere mortal. I, however belong to the former group. I feel it’s a necessity to know myself as well as I can and I’m hoping that this blog is gonna help me do that

The black sheep speaks

After walking this planet ensalved by paper with fancy prints (Yup, u guessed right – Money!!... people live, work, die and kill for it) for about quarter of a century, I have finally decided to give vent to my thoughts and emotions

Its fun to wake up every day and watch a zillion people run the rat-race all around you, and that is exactly what I’ve been doing all these years … watching, I mean. Never bothered to take part in it. Always had better things to do … always had a heart to follow. But still its fun to take a break once in a while and take a seat by the footpath. Helps you realize that you indeed are a superior-sapien

People run frantically at a reckless pace, trying to hoard all the riches they can without bothering to slow down and savor what they have, so that they can enjoy it all together once they are done hoarding

What they fail to realize is their mortality. They believe they are gonna live for ever. But the sad truth is that by the time they are half way through hoarding, they already would have lost a fair share of the most valuable thing they have – time. And by the time they decide to take a look at what they have, they wouldnt be physically, mentally or spiritually fit for savouring it. Time is our most priced possession (the second, i believe is health, though it can be regained to a certain extend. No matter what u achieve, u wont be in a position to enjoy it if you are not healthy in body, mind and soul). Time is the only thing of which any bit lost is lost for ever. The value of everything else is superficial. A recently purchased private jet plane wouldnt mean half as much to the 'rich' Sheik in the Middle East as what the first four-wheeler of a 'middle-class' guy means to himself. And this car wouldnt mean a tenth as much to the middle-class guy as would good food to that starving kid in Zambia who gets fed eventually after a week. I remember a time when one Asterix comic gifted to me by my dad at the end of every month would make me hop around with joy. And then there came a time when even a dozen of my favourite comics a week wouldn’t get me half as excited, though I still enjoyed reading them. Once you become a slave to money, the little things fail to keep you entertained anymore. Every time it takes a little more to give you the same amount happiness. And right now we are living in a world where man's basic necessities are things he doesnt need at all

I’m proud to say that I’m not driven by money. The day I decided to break the shackles, the world became beautiful again. And the day I accepted my mortality, I set myself free again. I am not saying that I'm not ambitious. I'm just saying that my ambitions are not materialistic, and money is not the first thing on my priority list, though i need it to live

A good percentage of the human population believes that “he who has the most number of toys when he dies is the winner” . Then there are the cynics who say that “Life is hard; and then you die; so its not worth your while trying to achieve anything” … and some extreme cases who go “No one dies a virgin, coz in the end life fucks em all”. Blaming life doesn’t help. Life is what we make out of it. It is not what happens to us, but how we react to it that makes life heaven or hell

Life begins with the top chambers of our hour-glasses filled with sand. As the sand-grains of time slip right through our fingers, the lucky few among us realize that the sole purpose of life is living … I said LIVING … not EXISTING. That means savoring every second of it along with every emotion that comes with it, doing the things your heart wants you to do, not screwing with your conscience and keeping it clean, finding love and returning it, and having faith in yourself.

Life is something that falls somewhere between a pleasure-trip and a computer game. It is not just the final goal or destination that matters; but the whole game/trip should be made equally enjoyable. Ultimately its nothing but satisfaction that all of us want out of our lives